A Rainy Day
We have been so, so busy this weekend that I haven't posted in a while! We catered a wedding rehearsal dinner Friday night and a wedding reception Saturday night. Oh, the joys of catering...have I said that I just "luuuuuvvvvv" catering? Of course, I do get to have some "quality time" with Darrel, and that is better than not being with him at all!
Today is an exciting day because it looks like we will finally get some much needed rain. Growing up on a farm, we spent a lot of time in the spring/summer/fall living from rain shower to rain shower. There's nothing quite so excrutiating as a summer drought. Why is it that sometimes it seems like God withholds the rain at the most critical times? Then just when you think the crops are gone and there's no hope, here comes a nice little shower. Then again, sometimes rain doesn't come and we have to start over again with something else.
Our lives are kind of like that. We have times of spiritual refreshing as well as dry times. I feel like I've been through one of those droughts here lately. A time when I keenly feel the heat and dryness in my spirit, feeling weaker and weaker each day, hoping for just a drop from heaven. I know better...I know that these times shouldn't deplete me so. I've walked in stability before - I know how to gather manna and I'm learning how to live in abundance. So why do I feel like I'm standing back on the borders of Egypt? I spent most of my Christian life in churches where I was encouraged to live from one emotional experience to the next. Always looking for "a touch from God". Don't get me wrong, God does long to touch us and pour out His Spirit upon us. But I don't think He intended for us to focus on that. Once again I can see my selfishness ever before me. When we are only living for that "emotional high", we find ourselves totally self-focused. We're like a drug addict looking to score something bigger and better to top the last high. I don't think God wants us to spend our entire lives in this place - it's not a place of growth or a place of reaching out. It's a place of taking instead of giving.
As I type this post, my eyes are slowly opening and I am beginning to see a little more clearly. I've let myself wander backward, inward. Father God, turn my gaze outward - Holy Spirit woo me to that place of self-denial and discipleship. Yes, we are going to get some wonderful rain today in our little spot of the world. Yes, I think I feel the coolness of a summer rain reviving my soul as well. Thank you for listening to my sometimes incoherent ramblings. I hope with all my heart that as I hash through some things here, you are helped as well.
posted by Diane @ 9:58 AM
2 Comments:
Hi Friend!
It's funny how many times today I have been led to do a particular thing and then immediately I realize why God wanted me to see it. He's so cool. I rarely check my e-mail and there's one from you(don't know when you sent it) telling me to check your Blog. I read what you posted today and all I can say is "Amen, Sister!"
We recently finished a study by Beth Moore called Believing God and it was great. For $26 you can do the online study that includes video. I would encourage you to do it and see what you think. It's a 10 week study. It's about the difference between merely beleiving He exists and taking Him at His Word to work in our lives like He can if we have the faith to believe He will.
I was thinking about you today and the time we spent at your house last summer. I'm so glad we haven't completely lost touch with each other. We were up in Spfld. a couple of weeks ago for my nephew's wedding. I hope we can come up again this summer and stay longer. Have you heard anything about a reunion this summer? It kind of freaks me out that it's been 20 years. 40 is creeping up on us, girl! Let's not think about it.
Back to what you wrote today: Being visual, I see my spiritual "walk" as a roller coaster. The low spots are when I'm so busy with the kids/family that I don't spend enough time with God - the dry spells that you talked about. Then I'll have times like recently with this study, where I am spending more time with Him and His Word and growing. I'd like to think that the low spots aren't as low anymore and that gradually the dips aren't quite so severe.
Well, Scott is ready to go to sleep and I'm keeping him up. I'll try to write some more soon. In the meantime I'll pray for you. Know that "your brothers around the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings." Read 1 Peter 5:7-11.
Love ya,
Amy
Crying for the rain with you, Diane.
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